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Where words rule.

Workshops

Workshops Post New Entry

Critique Work Shop

Posted by Lady Isis on July 26, 2011 at 2:36 PM

Please join us on Thurs. at 7pm EST for our first critique workshop. And continued at 2pm EST on Sat.

Categories: Workshop

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178 Comments

Reply Bray Dalton
3:08 PM on July 30, 2011 
When is it ok to use AND and BUT at the beginning of a sentence? Is there a rule on that?
Reply LaVerne
3:08 PM on July 30, 2011 
Marius de Moldavia says...
Thanks Kiki. I hate when I miss punctuation! ....Let me ask a question about one of the things she mentioned, LaVerne..The name Hudson's Bay is the proper name of the location in northern Canada, but everyone that has critiqued the story has considered that an error...what are your thought? type it correct or incorrect for clarity?


Marius if it's the proper name then it should be capitalized and just say so in a crit or if the person doing the crit tries to change it then change it back. Remember just b/c someone suggests something doesn't mean you have to explain it or justify why you didn't take the suggestion. It's YOUR story.
Reply Bray Dalton
3:07 PM on July 30, 2011 
WAIT, I have one last question
Reply Nicolau de la Croix
3:05 PM on July 30, 2011 
Yes that is true Kiki...it is mentioned early that was just a snip it
Reply LaVerne
3:05 PM on July 30, 2011 
Bray Dalton says...
LaVerne, did you answer the critical reading question.. How do you train yourself to be more critical?


Yes scroll down
Reply KittyDiva
3:04 PM on July 30, 2011 
Marius de Moldavia says...
Agreed Kiki...I think a lot of descriptions of facial expressions are key to enhancing a story...I study body language at my job and it is fascinating to describe sometimes


But remember the POV is coming from the vharacter LOOKING at the other charter and describing the expression , so it's still his POV, not the person making the expression. Unless he's looking in the mirror.

Exmaple.

He had a look of contempt on his face. Marius knew he was in trouble

It's Marious's POV, not the guy with the look of contempt
Reply Bray Dalton
3:04 PM on July 30, 2011 
*Whispers* Because I'm so naturally accepting... *Raises eye brows*
Reply Bray Dalton
3:03 PM on July 30, 2011 
LaVerne, did you answer the critical reading question.. How do you train yourself to be more critical?
Reply Bray Dalton
3:03 PM on July 30, 2011 
*Deep sigh* Can we keep writing about Bray and Aidan?
Reply Lady Isis
3:02 PM on July 30, 2011 
Any last minute questions for LaVerne? Then after I'll explain about the critiquing section
Reply KiKi L'Angoisse
3:02 PM on July 30, 2011 
Marius de Moldavia says...
Thanks Kiki. I hate when I miss punctuation! ....Let me ask a question about one of the things she mentioned, LaVerne..The name Hudson's Bay is the proper name of the location in northern Canada, but everyone that has critiqued the story has considered that an error...what are your thought? type it correct or incorrect for clarity?

I have to proof documents at work sometimes for coworkers, so that's usually the first thing I look for.
As for Hudson / Hudson's bay... if it was me, I would mention somewhere that it was the Canadian Bay since the spelling is different. Maybe if earlier in the story it mentions or hints that this is in Canada?
Reply LaVerne
3:01 PM on July 30, 2011 
Now caveat you wouldn't go back and forth sentence by sentence at least have a paragraph going.
Reply Nicolau de la Croix
3:01 PM on July 30, 2011 
Agreed Kiki...I think a lot of descriptions of facial expressions are key to enhancing a story...I study body language at my job and it is fascinating to describe sometimes
Reply LaVerne
3:00 PM on July 30, 2011 
KittyDiva says...
Nope. There is inner dialogue too. Example:

He reached for he robe on the floor. Damn, someone else was here. He coulnd't believe it. I wasn't out the door for two hours and already, she had another man in her bed,

No dialogue, just his inner thoughts.


yes exactly. But if you need to switch POV within a chapter then you space the POV and use **** to show the change and **** back

Bray walked into the room and there he stood. The man he'd been dreaming about.

****

Aidan looked up and the most beautiful male he'd ever seen stared at him.
Reply KiKi L'Angoisse
2:59 PM on July 30, 2011 
Bray Dalton says...
Let me ask this about the dialog. Conversation is the only way to get anyone else's POV going in a chapter, or section, Is that right?

Could descriptions of reactions count as well? I think that sometimes silence is stronger than words when a well described facial reaction or gesture can convey how a character feels about an issue.
Reply Nicolau de la Croix
2:58 PM on July 30, 2011 
Thanks Kiki. I hate when I miss punctuation! ....Let me ask a question about one of the things she mentioned, LaVerne..The name Hudson's Bay is the proper name of the location in northern Canada, but everyone that has critiqued the story has considered that an error...what are your thought? type it correct or incorrect for clarity?
Reply LaVerne
2:55 PM on July 30, 2011 
Good catches Kiki
Reply KittyDiva
2:55 PM on July 30, 2011 
Bray Dalton says...
Let me ask this about the dialog. Conversation is the only way to get anyone else's POV going in a chapter, or section, Is that right?

Nope. There is inner dialogue too. Example:

He reached for he robe on the floor. Damn, someone else was here. He coulnd't believe it. I wasn't out the door for two hours and already, she had another man in her bed,

No dialogue, just his inner thoughts.
Reply Bray Dalton
2:51 PM on July 30, 2011 
Let me ask this about the dialog. Conversation is the only way to get anyone else's POV going in a chapter, or section, Is that right?
Reply KiKi L'Angoisse
2:50 PM on July 30, 2011 
Marius de Moldavia says...
The amber orb of the sun gradually dipped into the awaiting icy sea while night claimed the land in the northern part of the Laurentian Plateau. Sounds of forest life echoed through the early winter landscape resonating off the water, Caleb Travis turned from the stunning sunset and trudged towards his warm cabin at the edge of the Hudson?s Bay. This land teemed with life even with winter?s harshest hand lying on the region. In early October, the first of many snows fell to cover the once bright green terrain with a magnificent silvery blanket.

How about this one?


landscape, resonating
End the sentence between water and Caleb...
Hudson Bay
winters instead of winter's
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